"Lost, Tossed and Squashed!"

April 30, 2007
This week: "Lost, Tossed and Squashed"

Hi folks...My good friend Her Purple-Highness Stephany NJC 'across-the-pond' in the UK prompted me to write about this recurring international oddity this week. She questioned how a drain pipe got sideways 12 feet up in a tree.

I know it's no different in other places. Whether I've been drivin' down Woodward Ave.or Telegraph Rd. in Detroit, Pennsylvania Ave. in D.C, Broadway in New York, Sunset Blvd. in L.A, Duval Street in Key West, or Ocean Ave. in Miami, it's always the same. There usually is one or two things either stuck to, on, or in the road or street, that makes me wonder how it got there.

Sometimes it's just a single shoe. Did some child toss it out the window, not to be discovered till the parent and driver got home? And, why didn't they go back for it? Or maybe its a brand new lookingcell phone. Don't they know it's gone when they arent getting any calls? And, that poor very large dog that somehow got out, only to become road-kill, probably late at night. Why didn't it's owners keep it locked or chained up? Of course there is invariably the dead multi-colored house cat, who shouldv'e had nine lives, so why did they get squashed? Possums, raccoons, and deer, those I can understand. Its God's way of providing food to the vultures and birds of prey.

I wish that I had a nickle (or schilling) for every squirrel I'e seen flattened. Ever notice how those little guys always seem to have one arm stuck up out of their munched carcasses, as if to say "Hey! STOPPPPPPPP!". Maybe they were giving the offending driver the 'finger' in that last second when they looked up to see that car barreling down on them thinking, "Oh,oh!" And no matter who you are or where you live, everyone's seen that mattress or box springs up on the side of the highway that obviously blew off while someone had been moving. You know that later that night, they probably thought, "Hey! My bed is lower!" Or that one lone chair that usually somehow ended upright, as though someone had pulled over, set it up straight, and sat there for a few minutes watching traffic whiz by. I always see notebooks with loose papers scattered all around it as well.

Then there are those sunglasses, usually with one lense cracked and one side-arm missing. I have even see the occasional television and computer monitor. Hats. Blacks bags of unknown contents. A single or pair of gloves. Signs that say "Vote for..." And then there are the tires. Some shreaded, some just sitting there like someone had been changing a tire, changed it, and forgot to put the flat one in the trunk. One of my favorites are the refrigerators. Now, when it came off the truck, trailer or lowry, didn't the vehicle transporting it notice that the drag on the vehicle suddenly got less, and it had started going a bit faster due to the weight loss?

Recently, while working as a 1st Resonding Officer, I had control of a lost and found area. In it were the usual lost keys, eyeglasses, I-Pods, cell phones, drivers lisenses, I. D badges, single earrings, planners and datebooks, and garage door openers. These, I could all understand. Like those items in the road. Its pretty easy to get an idea how that stuff got misplaced and why it ended up where it did. But, there were 3 that had me stumped. I opened the drawer one morning to discover someone's teeth (dentures). Boy, don't you know they were surprised last night at dinner! Then, there was the woman's birth control device. She must have been pretty shook when she reached out in the dark and wondered where it went. (I'll bet he wasn't too happy at that moment either!) Nothing surprises me anymore.

Then, there was that phone call. I've been around the block and the world a few times, so I'm not a clueless person. So, when the phone rang at my desk that morning, I was ready for anything. The woman on the phone asked if anyone had turned in a Heart Monitor! Surprised and intrigued, I asked when she had misplaced it. "Oh, it was about 2 or 3 weeks ago" she said. What!? What was her 1st clue? Was it the 2 weeks of heart-thumping palpitations that made her realize it wasn't where it was supposed ot be? Now I was amazed. And, why would she take off the damn heart monitor anyway?! Yep folks, it's a crazy and wacky world we live in and on. Now-a-days, I'm un-fazed by those things left lost, tossed and squashed. People are pre-occupied, and have their minds on other things. That' why all those drivers blowing stop signs always have a cell phone to their ear. Its a busy, busy world we live in these days. Rush here, run there, haul-tail over there and.. "Oops! I didn't see that critter run out in front of me!" Squash!

Yep friends, it's tough. Our world is fillied with people trying to find lost mattresses, keys, tvs, datebooks and single tennis shoes. I think these people are scattered, and distracted by the hustle and bustle of their worlds. They should get a life, and try and focus on the task at hand. Concentrate on what they are doing at the moment. I mean, get real! It's not that hard. I hate to think what it must be like living with these clueless members of our society, to busy to think.

And so in closing my friends, I hope I didn't offend anyone by implying anything about being forgetful or absent-minded. But, it doesnt take much to think 1st. Really, it doesnt. So, lets get with it and watch out for, and hang on to those things. But right now, I gotta go....and try to find my pants......

Keep yer hands on the wheel 'n yer foot to the floor...when your'e "Drivin' Sideways in Detroit!" Get out 'n wax those rides folks! Peace!
"Hurricane" Duane

*Special Thanks this week to: The "Hurricane Shelter", Stephany NJC-UK, Larry Patterson's Treasure Island Gold-Fla, Sonja Paris-Intnl, Soulful Detroit's Music Forum and Ralph Terrana-Intnl, La Grizzy- Intnl, Team Detroit-Mich, and "Lucky" the Wonder-Dog!

duanethomas@johnnyandthehurricanes.com

Detroit Music Awards 2007

April 23rd, 2007

Hard to believe its been this long already. The 19th Annual Detroit Music Awards, sponsored by the Motor City Music Foundation, were held Friday night, at the State Theatre in downtown Detroit. With over 2,200 people, mostly musicians and industry reps, in attendance, some familiar faces were honored.

One very special honoree, well deserves the award, and all the attention she recieved. After nearly 70 years as a blues legend, ninety year old Alberta Adams finally received the distinguished achievement award. On stage, she looked wonderful, and was well pleased. "The music keeps me going, definately".

Hometown Hero Bob Seger's three trophies were hardly unexpected, with the Best Album, Single (Wait for Me) and National Recording (Face the Promise). Not too bad after a 10 year absence. Local and International favorite Ce Ce Winans won for best Gospel artist, Calvin Cooke for best Gospel musician, along with Thornetta Davis as best Blues aritst, and Luther "Badman" Keith for best Blues Songwriter. One surprise recipient (only because he's still around to GET an award) was Iggy Pop for his Anthology/Reissue "The Best of...". Iggy's just like the energizer bunny...he keep going, and going, and going...

Others receiving awards were Jill Jack for Best Acoustic and Folk Artist, female rockers Broadzilla for best Hard Rock Artist, Liz Larin best Pop Artist and Rock Songwriter, best young Jazz Vocalist Jesse Palter, the Hummingbirds for best Country Artists, Trick Trick for Hip Hop, the Paybacks for Alternative Artists, Nadir for best Urban Songwriter, Electronic Artist Amp Fiddler, and best recording studio was a tie between Studio A and Tempermill.

Rounding out the list is the Bugs Beddow Band for R & B, and the Process for Reggae. Also receiving awards were Black Bottom Collective, the Hard Lessons, Michael Dougherty, Jeremy Kittel, Vinnie Dombrowski and Mike Clark. Best Record Producer went to Martin "Tino" Gross.

With all these talented people, it's a shame many are not known very well outside of Detroit. Motown has a long legacy of trends and trendsetters, and will continue to be just that far ahead into the future.
If you get a chance to support these artists, please do. It will be time and money well spent.

Keep your hands on the wheel....and your foot to the floor...when your'e...."Drivin' Sideways in Detroit!"

**Special Thanks to: The "Hurricane Shelter", Treasure Island Gold's Larry Patterson, Team Detroit, Sonja Paris, Soulful Detroit and Ralph Terrana, and "Lucky" the Wonder Dog!
www.drivinsidewaysindetroit.blogspot.com
duanethomas@johnnyandthehurricanes.com

Random thoughts, observations....

*This Week: April 15th, 2007
"Random thoughts, observations, complaints and concerns while cruisin through Motown."

Hello again my friends! I just had to punch my brakes to the floor and pull over. This week, I've got some things on my mind.

Ok. So, like every day it's been "Tonight on the news, it's another twist to the Anna Nicole Saga" Why? Isn't she still dead? And by now we all know who 'baby mama's daddy is'. That Larry Butt-head guy. And, for sure her son Daniel is still gone, right? Well then...let them rest in peace for God's Sake! And as far as resting goes, the last I knew, Godfather James Brown was still above ground after all these months...no, wait! They DID have a service for him finally. But they put him ABOVE ground temporatliy so they wouldn't have to dig him up again, to move him to a mausuleum, they ain't BUILT yet!

And then there's our sweet n' silly 'Oops! I did it again' girlfriend Britney. The 'look ma, I-cut-off-all-my-hair-and-ain't-wearing-no-panties' diva. Marry an idiot, make some videos stoned, let the baby drive the damn car, divorce the Vanilla Ice-clone, Kevin Fetch-a-line-I'm-throwing-you-a-million-for-divorcing-me' knuclehead...run around with Paris Hilton photographed with yer hey-naa-ny-naa-ny hanging out, buzz the hair from your head, and go into rehab. Check out the next day, go back in later that night, check out again Fri, and back in on Monday finally...geez! I KNOW the girl's got a least a COUPLE of pair of handcuffs around the crib! Couldn't somebody have hooked that girl up?

And then we got Don 'I-must-put-my-foot-up-my-butt' Imus! This senior citizen with the long hair, Beatle boots and cowboy hat, thinks he's some kind of 'brother-man'! Yo! Word! What up?! Well, we'll all tell you Donnie- boy 'what-up'... and IT AIN'T YOU! It's a damn good thing they were ladies. 'Cause if you'd called some BROTHERS 'Nappy-Headed-BROS'...you'd a had laser sights on your genitals, and a whole bunch of 9MM's pointed at you!

My Heavens. Him and the Brown family, and Britney's too, all ride around in limos to one of their 20 houses around the world and act like they belong to the real world like most of us hard working, God-fearing, underpants-wearing, contributing to society, REAL PEOPLE! Well, they don't...and they aren't, and they NEVER WILL speak for me by their actions, reactions, and ways of carrying-on. Hey! I can make myself look bad all by myself thank you.

Let's get a grip America (thank you Bernie Mack). We need to get with it as a society. Help people, not hurt people. Lead by example, not by mistake. I can only imagine now after all those school-girl outfits were sold after Brit's "OOPS!" song....that now, a zillion pre-teen, teen and young woman are all gonna start shaving their heads, stop wearing panties, and look to marry K-Fed defus's! All the rest are gonna start talking like that old -fart Imus. And still, they'll be talking about Anna and James till they re-incarnate back again!

It troubles me that we laugh and joke on the death and trials and tribulations of these representatives of our country. It bothers me that the rest of the world laughs too, because it reflects on the rest of us. Aren't there more important stories to report on? Is there so little out there happening, that we have to over indulge on Anna, Don Imus and Britney? I wish for one day, those 3 wouldn't IN or ON the news. Now that all the Britney, Don and Anna fans are probably out to get me, there's another issue.

It's this Sanjaya thing. How in the heck is he still on American Idol? I mean, don't people have ears? So many good talents have been voted off. And for a 17 year old, no-experienced KID who can barely sing? He just got his driver's license last year! And he can't even vote, join the military, or buy beer. Now, I'm really confused America! .

Yes, I love Britney. And I thought Anna was pretty attractive. Don Imus was often cocky, but now I'm glad he's gone. And James Brown? Bury the man already! Why didn't they at least put him in one of those holes they left all over his property, when they were diggin' for all his money? I am at a loss to understand all this fascination over and over again with the lives of 'celebrities' America.

Ok, so now I'm getting back in my ride, and high tailin' it outta here, Oh, and one last thing. If that Sanjaya kid wins American Idol?...I'm drivin' both me AND the car off the Ambassador Bridge and into the Detroit River! Peace All. Till next week…

Tank's full….revvin' engine….just remember….Keep your hands on the wheel, and your foot to the floor, when you're…."Drivin' Sideways in Detroit !" C'ya!

e-mail to: duanethomas@johnnyandthehurricanes.com
www.drivinsidewaysindetroit.blogspot.com/

*Special Thanks: The "Hurricane Shelter" offices, Sonja Paris, LA Grizzy, Treasure Island Gold's Larry Patterson, Soulful Detroit and Ralph Terrana, Team Detroit, and "Lucky" the Wonder Dog

"Detroit Summer's Comin'!" What's up? Your'e joking, right?!

By: “Hurricane Duane” Thomas
For the Week of: April 1st, 2007
This Week: "Detroit Summer's Comin"! What's up? You're joking, right?!__________________________________________________________________

Hello friends. No, this won’t be an April Fools Day column. There’s enough foolishness in the world without me adding to it!

Aside from all the people rushing around cutting grass, and buying flowers already, with a couple of near 80 degree days this week, spring has hit Detroit . That means summer is just around the corner. And, yes, I can think of about 20 jokes that are either offensive, restrictive, prejudiced, stupid or just plain WRONG about summer coming on in the Motor City…but I’m not gonna go there.

Every year, warm weather seems to bring people out of their homes around here. Either they’re washing the dirt, salt and grime of winter off of their cars, walking their dogs, pruning their yards, or if teenagers, burning rubber and blowing stop signs like the Devil himself is chasing them. With that alone, Traffic Cops have their hands and ticket books full. And those dog-walkers out there better have a bag or “pooper-scooper” with them, because in some suburban cities (like mine), it’s the law and only right. Try stepping in the “deposit” of a very large Bull Mastiff!

With many places to go and things to do here in the warm months, Detroit and our suburbs has a lot to offer. I know I’m bound to get chastised here for not mentioning any city parks, and I’m also sure there are some good ones, but they seem to be few and far between. County parks and State parks, along with the Riverfront, give us and visitors here the best options for a great time outdoors. We have Hart Plaza and Chene Park , and of course, Belle Isle…our jewel of an island upriver. The views of the freighters along the river between Windso and Detroit are something to behold, motoring up and down to places and countries all around the world. All up and down the river, its fun to watch the people and traffic just a mile or so across the water going about their business in that foreign country over there they call Canada.

Sadly, though not wholly unexpectedly, with its nature trails and river views and skyline, Belle Isle has declined in recent years to a boom-box haven for city teenagers. With the lack of funding, the Aquarium and Belle Isle Zoo has had to close. There seems to be no-place there for us “regular folks” and kids unless it’s the International Freedom Festival Fireworks display, then there always seems to be a place on the island for everyone (as long as you get there early before they shut it down). Then we have the Detroit Zoo. A great place for family in the sun. There's also Cranbrook Institute with its Harvard looking ivy and fabulous architecture and grounds. Of course one cannot forget Greenfield village with it's original home of Thomas Edison, Daniel Webster and the Wright Brothers shop, all moved there into the historical area by Henry Ford and Thomas Edison himself, whose workshop is still there as well. have the Eastern Market with its vendors, flowers, foods and local products of every kind, and it’s packed from early morning weekends right through. And we have Greektown (my favorite place), with its wonderful smells and aromas, summer Art and Concert Festivals and Casino. Don’t forget the MGM Grand and Motor City Casinos, also a couple of great places to get out of the heat of “hot-time-summer-in-the-city” And maybe you just might win a few bucks too!.

We have spring and summer concerts of all kinds in the downtown area and along Hart Plaza and the Riverfront. There are different types of “ethnic festivals” every weekend in Hart Plaza, along with The Detroit International Jazz Festival at the Campus Martius, the New Center Area’s Taste Fest, the Art Festival near the Detroit Institute of Arts, Festival of Colors, and of course, the world renown Detroit Techno Fest. There’s the Fox theatre with it’s wide spread of concerts, shows and stage plays and musicals, Comerica Park and the Tigers, Ford Field and the Lions (in Fall though), Joe Louis and it’s concerts and Disney Ice shows and Red Wings games (in winter months). Except for the Pistons who are out in Pontiac at the Palace of Auburn Hills, all the rest of the above is in the Downtown area alone. We also have Hamtramick, the traditional Polish Town along Joseph Campau Street , and Mexican Town along Vernor Hwy , and East Dearborn with its Arabic community. If I’ve missed any nationality, hey! I’m sorry! But this is a big place. So big that the Michigan State Fair is one of our prize possessions as well.

The Dream Cruise is number 1 on things to do in the warm months. Thousands of classic cars from the 50's, the 20's, '30's and 40's even...and the 60', '70's, 80's and '90's are all represented in classic colors such as candy apple red metal flake, and black forest black with gold and red metal flakes underneath. And cars with chromes and neon tube lighting. Out of the city-proper, there are many favorite places and things in the area to visit, do and see. There is the Michigan State Fair at the end of summer on the 8 Mile Rd. that Eminem made famous…or notorious. We have DTE Energy Ampitheatre (the old Pine Knob) for all kinds of concerts and Lollipalooza, the Warped Tour and Wine Tasting Fests, the Meadowbrook Ampitheatre for concerts as well, and Freedom Hill Ampitheatre coming in at third in the list of outdoor venues. I should also mention the Rennissance Festival up in Holly. We have Metropolitan Beach, Island Lake, Stoney Creek, Kensington Metro Park, Pontiac Lake, Silver Lake, Proud Lake , Camp Dearborn , and way over in Jackson County , Irish Hills and Wampers Lake Park. If you like canoeing, it's within reach in the city on Belle Isle, or just a little way out of it in Milford, or along the Hurron river.

Of course we have Ann Arbor and its too many attractions to mention, besides the Ann Arbor Art Festival and Top of The Park Concerts. Also with this list, I would be amiss not to include the cities of Plymouth and Northville with their Art Festivals, and downriver, the city of Wayndotte with its river views and own summer Art Festival as well. All of these places are within a stone’s throw (or ½ tank of gas), from the city limit signs “Welcome to Detroit ”.

Detroit …Motown…the Motor City … has come to be called many things, by many people, from many different places. But I don’t think anyone can ever call it “boring”. With so much to do and see, if you live or just visit here, you had better make a list, and make one early. You’ll be hard-pressed to do it all, but be sure of one thing. With the Detroit Free Press Weekend section, The Real Detroit and Detroit Metro Times newspapers and Detroit Hour Magazine, everyday…someplace…somewhere here, there will be something you can find to do. So, if you can't find something here to interest you? You just aren’t lookin’! But right now, I gotta find a baggie and walk the dog! Now, go play!
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Well, thanks all! Till next week….tank’s full….revvin’ engine….just remember….Keep your hands on the wheel, and your foot to the floor, when you’re…“Drivin’ Sideways in Detroit !” C’ya! ZOOOOOOOOM!